Your Hell, Your Dream

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover,

I'm a child, I'm a mother,

I'm a sinner, I'm a saint,

I do not feel ashamed.

I'm your hell, I'm your dream,

I'm nothing in between.

You know you wouldn't want it any other way.

So take me as I am.

This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man...

...When you hurt, When you suffer,

I'm your angel undercover

I've been numb, I'm revived,

Can't say I'm not alive.

You know I wouldn't want it any other way.

-I'm a Bitch, Meredith Brooks/Alanis Morissette

I love this song. And when I say I love it, I feel it. Ha ha ha. The song says it all, I'm a bitch, a lover, a child, a mother (Ahem!), a sinner and a saint. I know I'm out of place when I bitch around. I hate this, I hate that, unreasonable hating, actually. But doesn't anyone hate things for unknown reason/s?

I'm a lover, yet still a bitch. I make you smile, but I also make you "cry". I make you feel happy and satisfied (hopefully), but I also make you feel insecure and all the other horrible shiz you keep hurting from. I'm your dream, yet I'm also your hell. I'm sorry if I'm like this. I always say sorry, yet I always commit the same mistakes, rather same foolishness. I never meant anyone to be affected negatively. This is just how I really am. And I hope you can accept me for this kind of me, rather not more of an angel in disguise. I cause you so much pain, yet so little ease. More of a devil I really am to you, and I don't deny it.

True, this may have to mean you'll have to be a stronger man, strong enough to forget your expectations and try to face reality as it is. We both know that we wouldn't want our expectations to be the other way around. I'm not sure if it's you that I blame, but most likely it's me. I guess both of us just have to adjust to whatever we have right now. If I can't be exactly your dreams, then I'll try to be at least in between of myself and your fantasy.