Contristati

Cant say I dont love him
Still I cant pretend
That my heart is torn just knowing that Im losing my bestfriend
If its easier said and done
Then someone tell me why
Though I try,
I cant find the words to say goodbye

I could tell him that Im sorry
Hope he’ll understand
He will have to do with someone else
All that we have planned
Id rather him hear the truth
Than hurt him with a lie
So I tried,
But I cant find the words to say goodbye

Now I know
I have to go
Theres no other way
But goodbye is not what I can bring myself to say…

If I told him “see you later”
Then I might be wrong
cause this voice inside is driving me
To find where I belong
I know I must leave her now but everytime I try,
Dont know why,
Ibut I cant find the words to say goodbye…
Dont know why,
I cant find the words to say goodbye….

-Can't Find The Words To Say Goodbye, Nina

So if you think everything's over, think again, pal. I'd rather not consider anything as an ending, rather it's a new beginning; but probably of the same path we took from the very start, since in life, there is no turning back. Dramas of life is collectively a never-ending cycle of stories. Even if you grow tired of it, it'll happen and happen again only with a new twist. If you're reading this now, rather still visiting this site anymore, then this is for you. The song says it all, need I say more?

I Cry Real Tears

Every little teardrop
That falls from my eyes
They fall for you
I cry real tears baby
Every little teardrop
That falls from my eyes
They fall for you

You oughta be ashamed of yourself
The way you talk down to me
Didn't anybody ever teach you
To act more respectfully

I'm telling you
That I'm only human too
Don't you realise
Look at my face
What do you see in my eyes
When a part of me just dies?

I cry real tears
I have real fears
I've got a heart that's beating inside
Sometimes it breaks
And when it aches
My eyes cry real tears

You treat me like
You think I'm made of stone
Like when I'm cut I don't bleed
Oh baby
Don't you know that
I'm just flesh and bones
So what do you want from me

I'm telling you
That I'm only human too
Don't you realise
Look at my face
What do you see in my eyes
When a part of me just dies?

I cry real tears
I have real fears
I've got a heart that's beating inside
Sometimes it breaks
And when it aches
My eyes cry real tears

There's something called the golden rule
Someday you'll wished you'd follow it more
You've been a fool
My love is truer than any love you will find
But I'm worth so much more and so is my time

I cry real tears
I have real fears
I've got a heart that's beating inside
Sometimes it breaks
And when it aches
My eyes cry real tears

There's something called the golden rule
Someday you'll wished you'd follow it more
You've been a fool
My love is truer than any love you will find
But I'm worth so much more and so is my time

- I Cry Real Tears, Eternal


The song lyrics says it all, need I to say more?

Your Hell, Your Dream

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover,

I'm a child, I'm a mother,

I'm a sinner, I'm a saint,

I do not feel ashamed.

I'm your hell, I'm your dream,

I'm nothing in between.

You know you wouldn't want it any other way.

So take me as I am.

This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man...

...When you hurt, When you suffer,

I'm your angel undercover

I've been numb, I'm revived,

Can't say I'm not alive.

You know I wouldn't want it any other way.

-I'm a Bitch, Meredith Brooks/Alanis Morissette

I love this song. And when I say I love it, I feel it. Ha ha ha. The song says it all, I'm a bitch, a lover, a child, a mother (Ahem!), a sinner and a saint. I know I'm out of place when I bitch around. I hate this, I hate that, unreasonable hating, actually. But doesn't anyone hate things for unknown reason/s?

I'm a lover, yet still a bitch. I make you smile, but I also make you "cry". I make you feel happy and satisfied (hopefully), but I also make you feel insecure and all the other horrible shiz you keep hurting from. I'm your dream, yet I'm also your hell. I'm sorry if I'm like this. I always say sorry, yet I always commit the same mistakes, rather same foolishness. I never meant anyone to be affected negatively. This is just how I really am. And I hope you can accept me for this kind of me, rather not more of an angel in disguise. I cause you so much pain, yet so little ease. More of a devil I really am to you, and I don't deny it.

True, this may have to mean you'll have to be a stronger man, strong enough to forget your expectations and try to face reality as it is. We both know that we wouldn't want our expectations to be the other way around. I'm not sure if it's you that I blame, but most likely it's me. I guess both of us just have to adjust to whatever we have right now. If I can't be exactly your dreams, then I'll try to be at least in between of myself and your fantasy.

The Greatest Love of Them All

Close your eyes, close your eyes

Breathe the air, out there

We are free, we can be

Wide open

For you open my eyes

To the beauty I see

We we will pray,

We we will stay

Wide open

Don’t analyse

Don’t analyse

Don’t go that way

Don’t lead that way

That would paralyse your evolution

Don’t analyse

Don’t analyse

Don’t go that way

Don’t lead that way

That would paralyse your evolution

Lalala this greatest moment

Lalala the strangest day

Lalala the greatest love of them all

Lalala. this greatest moment

Lalala, the strangest day

Lalala, the greatest love of them all

Close your eyes

Close your eyes

Breathe the air, out there

Fantazise, fantazise

We are open

For you I open my eyes

To the beauty I see

We we will pray

We we will stay ...together

Lalala, this greatest moment

Lalala, the strangest day

Lalala, the greatest love of them all

Lalala, this greatest moment

Lalala, the strangest day

Lalala, the greatest love of them all

Lalalalala

- Analyse, The Cranberries

I wish I feel as much as great as this song. Please make me feel I am that loved. I want no hatred, no anger, no heartbreaks, no pain. I sound crazy and impossible, but nothing's impossible if there is love. I know I sound gay, but you always say what you want is "love." So please, learn how to forgive. There are plenty of ways to have vengeance, even meaner ways. But whatever it is, I think it is not enough of a reason to ruin someone's name. Hindi naman siguro tama na siraan ang pagkatao niya. Forgiveness is still one of the greatest form of love there is. Please prove me wrong whatever it is I'm thinking about you. Let's be mature, please.

It Gets Better Than You Know

This world

This world is cold

But you don't

You don't have to go

You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems to care

Your mother's gone and your father hits you

This pain you cannot bear

But we all bleed the same way as you do

And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on if you feel like letting go

Hold on it gets better than you know

Your days

You say they're way too long

And your nights

You can't sleep at all

Hold on

And you're not sure what you're waiting for, but you don't want to know more

And you're not sure what you're looking for, but you don't want to know more

But we all bleed the same way as you do

And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on if you feel like letting go

Hold on it gets better than you know

Don't stop looking, you're one step closer

Don't stop searching, it's not over

Hold on

What are you looking for?

What are you waiting for?

Do you know what you're doing to me?

Go ahead...What are you waiting for?

Hold on if you feel like letting go

Hold on it gets better than you know

Don't stop looking, you're one step closer

Don't stop searching, it's not over

Hold on if you feel like letting go

Hold on it gets better than you know

Hold on

- Hold On, Good Charlotte

Thank you so much for tonight! It made me feel relieved, washing away the pain which was tearing me apart. Ha ha. I know, it's always my fault, and I thank you so much for trying to understand me at "all" times.

Holding on to something you really love is something not to regret, 'coz being able to keep it 'till the end is the best reward that you can ever get after suffering from all the pain it has brought to you. Confusion is sure to come in the way of holding on, but knowing how you really feel is the remedy. If you value something, don't never let go as long as you can and you have a reason to keep it with you, 'coz in the end, it'll get better than you know.

Now, this is how much I value you. I hope you feel the same. Again, sorry for my every wrong. May the both of us be stronger after each obstacle we are to encounter.

I Swear That You Don't Have To Go

I swear that you don't have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you
I had in you

To late, I'm sure
and lonely
another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now
against me
You know the words so sing along for me baby

For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same

I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening
And moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across the key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I'd give my heart as an offering
an offering
To late, I'm sure
and lonely
another night, another dream wasted on you

Just be here now
against me
You know the words, so sing along for me baby

For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same

And I will always remember you as, you are right now to me
And I will always remember you now, remember you now

So sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight
How does he feel, how does he kiss
(let's sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side)
How does he taste while he's on your lips
(let's sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side)
How does he feel, how does he kiss
(Repeats in background:let's sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side)
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you I want to
But I can't forget you
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you I want to
But I can't forget you
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby
I can't forgive you
I know you want me to want you I want to

-Three Cheers For Five Years, Mayday Parade

Instead of studying for our Bio116 last Lec Exam, I'll just spare some of my precious time blogging about you it, or whatever is related to my traumatic experience.

Yesterday, someone something made me too vulnerable to emo songs. With no one to talk to, I kept the pain, hoping it will soon be gone. But to make it even worse, Mayday Parade's Three Years For Five Years played in my iTunes, and Bam!, just the perfect timing, non-stop buckets of tears just flowed out of my puffy eyes. It was around 3am, just to be exact. iTunes just knew how to spoil my emoness. Ftw! It's probably only the second time I cried over something like this. But the day turned out to be blissfully alright, better yet, awesome. Too much for emoness. Now back to studying Molluscs and Echinoderms. Ciao~

Making A Scene

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Tonight I kinda get the feeling,

My girl is up to something,

Something that is no good.

She said she only had a meeting,

But she is dressed for something,

Something that is no good.

Now I'm not saying that she's cheating,

But seeing is believing,

Can't believe it,

What I'm seeing when I stepped inside.

She's so wasted,

Acting crazy,

Making a scene,

Like it's her birthday.

Drinking champagne,

Going insane,

Falling on me,

Like it's her birthday.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.

This ain't the night I thought it'd be.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

She ain't shy, apparently.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.

You can hear the crowd and everybody sings.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Just like it's her birthday.

She turns and says don't be surprised,

It's gonna be a good night,

A good, good night.

She's showing me a different side,

One I've never seen before,

That I Ignore.

Cause when I'm up she's all about me,

When I'm down,

She stays around me,

Now I know I'm one and only,

So I might as well enjoy the ride.

She's so wasted,

Acting crazy,

Making a scene,

Like it's her birthday.

Drinking champagne,

Going insane,

Falling on me,

Like it's her birthday.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.

This ain't the night I thought it'd be.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

She ain't shy, apparently.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.

You can hear the crowd and everybody sings.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Just like it's her birthday.

Like it's her birthday.

Like it's her birthday.

Like it's her birthday.

Like it's her birthday.

She's so wasted,

Acting crazy,

Making a scene,

Like it's her birthday.

Drinking champagne,

Going insane,

Falling on me,

Like it's her birthday.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.

This ain't the night I thought it'd be.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

She ain't shy, apparently.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.

This ain't the night I thought it'd be.

You can hear the crowd and everybody sings.

Just like it's her birthday.

- Like It's Her birthday, Good Charlotte

Now that most of my friends have already turned into eighteen, I am compassionately (lol whut?) excited to reach a decade and eight years of my life. Legalization, here I come. But no, still two more long months of waiting in vain, where I can already foresee that I will do nothing on my birthday, like my usual birthday celebration. Yes, sad to hear, it makes me look like a loner with no friends. But c'mon, you can't blame me if my friends are in their provinces, it's summer vacation after all. I'll just express my overwhelming excitement about the dirty legal stuff I can already do, like this and that, 'till I can act all insane and become the wasted young sprout. Well, uh, you get my point. You may probably learn something from the song, anyway. Teeheehee~

Hang over

Last night, since I cannot drink alcohol to release my deep mourning for our what-the-hell-I-don't-know anything-here Physics exam, I just made myself drunk by eating almost a kilo of seedless grapes all by myself. But hell it was effective; it really made me sleepier. Anyway, if I failed the first exam, which my friends thought was easy, then I know I'm gonna flunk this second exam more.

Now here’s a song I’d like to dedicate to my one and only love, Physics. Correction, second love only, of course Biochemistry is on the top of the list. This song had been playing in my laptop and my head during my review and yeah, when I was taking the exam.

It's just like him

To wander off in the evergreen park

Slowly searching for any sign

Of the ones he used to love..

He says he's got nothing left to live for

(He says he's got nothing left...)

And this time I think you'll know..

You're not alone

There is more to this, I know

You can make it out

You will live to tell

She's just like him

Spoiled rotten

Confused by the lies she's been fed

And she's searching for no one..

(But herself)

Her eyes turn to green and she seems to be happy

That she is here

And this time I think you'll know...

You're not alone

There is more to this, I know

You can make it out

You will live to tell

You're not alone

There is more to this, I know

You can make it out

(There is more to know)

We're not alone

There is more to this, I know

You can make it out

You will live to tell..

(So tell me)

You're not alone

There is more to this, I know

You can make it out

(Make it out)

You will live to tell

(Live to tell)

You're not alone

There is more to this, I know

(And I know)

You can make it out

You will live to tell..

You are not alone.

You're not, you're not alone.

-You’re Not Alone, Saosin

Now, I still have a hang over of mixed emotions such as “I’m so bobo,” “I’ll fail Physics and I’ll be delayed,” “I’ll just make bawi on the third exam,” “I don’t care about it,” “Life is destiny,” etc etc. I hope you can feel me, and I really hope I can make it out of this horrible Physics nightmare. Well, my friend’s right, life is not about how rich you are, how pretty or handsome you are, how hot you dress, how hard you party, nor how cool you car is, but it’s about how good and high your grades are. I just sounded too grade conscious there, but that’s just the reality for US.

Leave Yourself Intact

I know I like weird songs, and for tonight, instead of studying Arthropods, this song, which I felt like dedicating to someone, occupied my mind. Ha ha.

I’m gonna ride this plane out of your life again

I wish that I could stay, but you argue

More than this I wish, you could’ve seen my face

In backseats staring out, the window

I’ll do anything for you

Kill anyone for you

So leave yourself intact

‘Cause I will be coming back

In a phrase to cut these lips

I love you

The morning will come

In the press of every kiss

With your head upon my chest

Where I will annoy you

With every waking breath

Until you decide to wake up

I’ve earned through hope and faith

On the curves around your face

That I’m the one you’ll hold forever

If morning never comes for either one of us

Then this I pray to you wherever

I’ll do anything for you

This story is for you

(‘Cause I’d do anything you want me to for you)

I’ll do anything for you

Kill anyone for you

So leave yourself intact

‘Cause I won’t be coming back

In a phrase to cut these lips

I loved you

The morning will come

In the press of every kiss

With your head upon my chest

Where I will annoy you

With every waking breath

Until you decide to wake up

The morning will come

In the press of every kiss

With your head upon my chest

Where I will annoy you

With every waking breath

‘Til you decide to wake up

-Wake Up,

Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV,

Coheed and Cambria

I sent a link of this song to a friend, then he replied "Nakakatakot ka naman. Nakakatakot kaya 'yang kantang 'yan." I reacted violently, of course. It's my favorite song, even the band is weird, the vocalist's voice is weird for his physical appearance, and other shits you'd like to comment to this song. By the way, they're an underground band with a comics artist as their vocalist. And according to a friend, the song titles are related to the comic-stories written by the vocalist. I rather not post a photo of their band 'coz it might be a turn-off. I decided not to research much about them 'coz I might get disappointed too. Well, looks isn't everything.