It actually even came to this moment that I have to visit this online journal again and write my thoughts down. For the record, I think I only do this when I am so bothered with something that I wouldn't be able to let a day pass without transforming these oh-so-random emotions into words. It has already been quite long enough since I felt writing something down, and actually did write it down. So here it goes...
I just realized, I actually have been eyeing on you for quite some time already. I never thought that you'd be interested, too, in a kind of serious way as I may assume. It also didn't cross my mind that it'll deepen into a connection such as this. And now, it has finally come to this point. With this situation in my hands, I always ask myself, "Is this right? Is it right to let this go on?" With differences that may set boundaries between us, it is a bit hard to think it over repeatedly. Especially with the fact that I may be a pretentious bitch sometimes.
You see, it somehow bothers me how your absence annoys me in an indescribable way. And the thought of me being annoyed with it makes me even more annoyed. Could this be a sign that I long for your everlasting company? Well, so much for everlasting. I wonder if this'll be a happy ending.
I have always been afraid to let my real emotions, in relation to this certain matter, be seen by anyone else but myself. I can't really say that you're making me vulnerable to things like these, rather you make me softer than my usual self. Okay... this doesn't mean that you make me feel special nor do I feel that you're special. It's just that as long as I am having fun, I'll think of it as something worth trying. As I do not want to put labels into things, and I hope you'll understand, I guess I'll enjoy whatever we have now. And maybe we'll take things slowly to see what its real worth is. For now, I dedicate this song to you.